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| About Me |
Name: Chrissy
Home: Moscow, Pa, United States
About Me: I'm a 25 year old mother of 2. Elizabeth Carolyn is a bright, enthusiastic Kindergartener who knows everything. Jacob Alexander is a rough and tumble 2 year old little boy who loves all things wheels. I've been married for 5 years to a wonderful guy, Jim. I work at a preschool and teach the school aged children. I wouldn't trade my job for anything!
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Friday, August 22, 2008 |
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| I'm leaving. |
So now I'm a bitch, according to my 2 year old. She wanted a drink of water, so I gave her a sippy cup because she's not coordinated to drink from a real glass yet without spilling it. She wanted it in a glass. I told her no. She glared at me and said "YOU BITCH!"
Yes folks, you heard that right. My 2 year old daughter called me a bitch. She had to have learned it from her father, as he calls me a bitch all the time. Yeah, I'm in a very loving marriage. It's becoming a pet name to me. Call me bitch, I'll answer. .:.sigh.:. So I did what any other mom would do when their sweet faced kid calls them a bitch. I cried, and I yelled, and sent her to her room. Of course, she dumps an entire bottle of baby lotion on the carpet to spite me, and grabs a bottle of powder and throws that into the mix. Why not REALLY piss mom off, right? Go for the gold kid. So I've had a hectic afternoon. Anyone want a 2 year old potty mouth? She's free. (even comes with her own clothes and bed and toys)
Work was great. Not too slow, but not crazy busy. A nice mix of customers and such. Bought my denim for tomorrow and a glamtastic shirt to decorate and make even more obnoxious. So after work I run to walmart to get some groceries before we head back to Jennifer's house. I get a text while grabbing some deoderent from Jim, saying "What, was you staying later at work fixing the jeans a coverup for hanging out with your friends?" Excuse me? No asshole, we're having a large denim sale tomorrow so I had to make sure the denim looked nice. "You never asked if you could go to your friends house" Excuse me again? Since when does my 21 year old self need YOUR permission to go to MY friends house? So I check out and leave. Take Jennifer home, and cry the entire way home.
Why fucking me? Seriously. I've been a good person in life. Sure I've fucked up, but who hasn't? Fuck my life- my mom dies when I'm 15. I'm in an abusive relationship from that time until I'm 17. I graduate and get knocked up and then married to an emotionally abusive man. Why. Fucking. Me? They say it gets worse before it gets better. Dammit, this better be the worst it's going to get. I'm so sick of living like this. Why should I have to answer to HIM? I am my OWN person. I could see if I was going galavanting across the city, but I was going to be in the living room of a friend's house, with fabric paints and a pizza, laughing and joking and making some gaudy shirts. I hate my life.
One of these days, I'm going to run the fuck away. |
posted by Chrissy @ 8:29 PM  |
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| jeeze it's been awhile |
So I had a great time at my dad's. don't feel like posting pics, not in the best of moods right now.
Woke up with a nasty cold the other day, it's finally gone, except for a headache that's lingering today.
Almost walked out on Jim the other night (so what else is new) because he was being a douchebag. Called me a bitch during a fight (which comes into play later) but I'm used to that. Yelling at me for money, as usual. Anyhoo.
Work's been good, last night was quite busy, but it made the time fly. Tonight I'm on register, so that should be fun in itself. That's a note of sarcasm for those who didn't pick up on it.
So today, I wouldn't let Liz have water in a glass, because she makes a mess. I told her no, she needed it in a sippy for now, but at dinner she could have it in a glass. She had the nerve to say "YOU BITCH!" to me!!!!!!!!!! I was stunned, hurt, and shocked. I know she picked it up from her father. I'm so angry right now and I'm sure that added to my already pissy mood. Argh.
I figure I'll leave for work around 3:50, because I need to stop at the bank and the post office to mail out an important package. Then I get to pick my bestie up and go to work and then we're going to decorate shirts tonight for work tomorrow. Should be fun.
Oh, and there's only a week left until that BHM/DCT!!!! Sah-weet! I'm getting scurred, but it's becaues it's been awhile since I've been to the club, lol. Oh well, at least I get to spend it with amazing people <3 I finally got my outfit narrowed down, and it should look very nice. I'm excited for it =) course it's nothing like the outfit 'ennifer balls and I picked out last night, but it'll do I guess, rofl. I might buy that outfit tonight just for the hell of it, hahahaha. Anyway, I'm out for now. I need to either have a drink, or kill someone, or something. I'll leave with this:
 |
| posted by Chrissy @ 11:31 AM |
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Friday, August 15, 2008 |
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| So it's 1am.. |
and I'm still up. I leave in 5 hours for my dad's. Yikes. I'm going to be one tired momma hyped up on coffee and Rockstar.
And I got paid tonight. So Jim had no right to yell at me. Asshole. Granted it was only $100 because I worked a shitty schedule those first 2 weeks, but it's still cash in my pocket for this weekend. Not to mention I work 25 hours next week. Yes! Finally, hours and work! Sweet. I switched departments with Jennifer tonight (because you can do that-cool!) so I was on register. Oye was it busy. I enjoyed myself though. I got 2 credit applications. Bwahaha. When they don't push you or depend your job on it, you can get them quite easily. Plus, who doesn't love to shop at Old Navy compared to Sears. (So that brings my credit card total to 6 for the 2 days I've been on register. Muaahahahahahahaha) I did find a supa sexy shirt I need to get. It's a 3/4 sleeve teal colored henley. I love henleys. They're so nice and really fit me well. It was only $8, and then my discount on top of that. I shoulda bought it tonight. It would have been good to wear tomorrow. Blargh. Oh well, I'm sure they'll still have it next week when I'm there. It'll be a fun filled week- Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Each 5 hours (5-10) but that's still better than 3 days a week. Yes!
I'm quite excited. The girls and I get to go to the club in less than 2 weeks now. I haven't been since pregnant with Liz and I just need to get out and have fun. <333333
So obviously Brittany isn't going with me, as I'm leaving in a few hours instead of tonight. It'll just be a girls weekend, my chicky poo and me. I'll definitely be taking pictures. I want a good pic of the 3 generations (me, my daddy, and Liz) I just wish my mom was alive, it would make the picture truly special. I packed some snacks for Liz when I got home from work, so I have a bag on the passangers seat that I can reach into and grab and throw them back to her. It'll be her first long car trip in awhile, so I'm praying she handles it well. Maybe we'll stop at McD's for breakfast for her, and get her some pancakes to sweeten the deal. I also cannot wait to see my best friend for eternity. I miss her so fucking much nobody even understands. I think we should move into a house together, lol. We're both in suck-ass situations. So yes, a house deal sounds good to me.
Speaking of snacks, I fell in love with spinach dip from a local grocery store. Tonight I went to cash my paycheck at Wegmans (a higher end grocery store) and just grabbed some spinach dip there. It was a one pound container. I figured maybe like 3-4 bucks, right? WRONG. I looked at my reciept when I got home and I paid 6.21 for it. 6 freaking dollars. I was quite angry. I took a taste, and it wasn't even as good as the 1.97 1/3 pound I got at Gerrity's. Fuck that shit.
Anyway. I have to be up in 4.5 hours. Ugh, I'm going to be a monster tomorrow. A total bitch. I get that way when I don't get my 8 hours of sleep. |
| posted by Chrissy @ 9:54 PM |
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| sweet |
So last night Brittany instant messaged me and told me she couldn't go again this weekend. I admit, I was pissed. I was bawling like a baby. So Jim and I fought of course, because he won't let me take the car ANYWHERE and come on, this is my father dammit. So after I kicked him out of the room for being a dick to me, he told me I can have the car for the weekend. The only problem is I can't leave till tomorrow morning because they don't want me driving with my child at night. Um, okay. I am her mom. But whatever.
So this morning Britt texts me and says she might be able to get her neighbors to watch the dogs (the reason she can't go- her parents are going to Atlantic City for the weekend) so I'm waiting to hear back from her. If she can go, then we're leaving tonight. So it's touch and go right now on when I'm leaving.
But at least I"m going. Yes!
I do have to say thank you to that one special friend who stayed up until 2:30am letting me bitch about my life. It takes a good person to do that when you have to work at 9 in the morning. Being reassured that I'm a good person and mommy made me definitely feel better <3
I'm just amazed at how life is turning out for me. In some aspects, it's terrible. But in others, it's just simply wonderful. I can't wait to see where life takes me. It will be an interesting journey for sure. I do plan on talking to my dad this weekend about my problems. I need to get it all out. I'm sure I'll feel better even if I am talking to a biased party.
Anyway, I figure I'm going to end this on a happy note instead of something depressing as usual. I need to pack for my dad's house, and eat some lunch.
14 days!! Hooray <333333 |
| posted by Chrissy @ 9:30 AM |
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Wednesday, August 13, 2008 |
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| 2 year olds.. |
can REALLY push your buttons sometimes. I swear to god she knows everything that gets underneath my skin. Today alone she has proceeded to:
- dump a bowl of cereal on the carpet
- slap me with a piece of waffle (COATED in syrup)
- dump her entire toybox in the living room, and yelled at me to clean it up
- Pushed against the table and tipped her chair back, almost falling out
- barge in on me while in the shower and flung the door open for the world to see
- pull her diaper off through her clothes and piss herself
- yell at me when I told her to pick up her toys
- chew up a bunch of hot dog and opened her mouth, letting it fall out
- whining constantly
- calling EVERYTHING 'mine' (I canNOT stand this word comming out of a kid, and her father and grandparents condone it and laugh at her)
- and a bunch of other crap
I can't wait to go to work and get away for awhile. Yeesh. Plus I'm tired and cranky and that doesn't help matters. Argh. At least there's a light at the end of the tunnel- I get to leave in like 52 hours with my best friend to go see my dad. WOOOOOOO. I just packed for Liz earlier, because I can't decide what to take for her to wear to Church on Sunday. Maybe her dress from her 2nd birthday. I don't know. I'll be easy to pack. Plus there's only 16 days till BHM with DC!! (club with da chicks) Sah-weet! I can't wait loves <33333 |
| posted by Chrissy @ 11:00 AM |
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008 |
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| Sweet Release!! |
Ahhhhh, alone time. The house to myself. Just Liz and I. Wow, this is an amazing feeling. I wish I didn't have to do laundry, but ohh well.
I'm in the mood to bake, but I'm not sure what. Maybe banana bread. That sounds kinda good. I made waffles for breakfast this morning. They're so gooooood. I've almost memorized the recipe. It was my grandma's, then my mom's, now mine =)
I get to work on register tomorrow evening. Hooray! The hour I was on register Sunday was fun, so we'll see how 5 hours goes. Then Thursday a buddy of Jim's and mine is comming over to play the wii. Friday I work then Britt, Liz and I leave for my dad's for the weekend. I can't wait! My best friend found out yesterday she's having a BOY!! Now I have to shop for baby boy clothes. It was humorus, Lizzy was talking to Jackie on the phone Friday, and Jackie asked Lizzy what she was going to have. Lizzy kept saying "baby boy, baby boy!" and guess she was right =) A nephew. How exciting!!! I think Friday night before work Auntie Chrissy will have to buy a thing or two for her baby boy =) Jackie and I are already arranging the marriage between the two. We were a little bummed though, as we were hoping for a girl so our daughters could be best friends like us. Oh well, we'll have to settle for inlaws ;)
So I think I'm gunna go clean now. I already did all the dishes and I want to throw another load of laundry in the washer
BHM - 17 days!!! <33 |
| posted by Chrissy @ 2:26 PM |
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Saturday, August 9, 2008 |
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| Fruity Pebbles- the new 2 year old crack |
So in a mix of guilt and selfishness last night, I picked up a box of Fruity Pebbles instead of the normal Cheerios. Come on, those little round o's get quite boring every morning. My little one is on a huge cereal kick and won't eat anything else for breakfast but homemade waffles, which I don't make too often.
So this morning, I pour Liz a nice bowl of the Pebbles. The look on her face was of pure disgust when I set the bowl in front of her. She picks up the spoon, sticks her tongue on it, contemplates it, and then takes a bite. The eyes widened, she squealed, and dove into her bowl.
Fast forward a half hour, she's running through the house like a chicken on steroids. She slammed into a few walls and just kept going. Right now she's chasing the dog up and down the hall, squealing and grabbing his tail.
Lesson learned: never feed a 2 year old Fruity Pebbles. Unless their father is babysitting for the day. |
| posted by Chrissy @ 7:33 AM |
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Thursday, August 7, 2008 |
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| They say bad things happen in 3's... |
but good things happen in the thousands.
Bad thing number 3 is trugging along. Jim's uncle has heart problems, and they need to deaden half of his heart to be able to save him. His pacemaker isn't doing a good enough job anymore. I believe FIL said he died but they revived him. .:.sigh.:.
Onto the good things.
- my dad is okay
- I have a bunch of wonderful friends
- dreams are starting to come true
- I have a healthy daughter who is more than I could ask for
- I'm healthy and alive
- I have a job that I love
- I have a great weekend planned for the end of this month
- I didn't get yelled at today
and I'm sure there's more. I did have quite a chuckle with my daughter today. She was sniffling and trying to blow her nose. I caught her blowing her nose into Jim's pillow, coating it with boogies. Oh it was disgusting. I was so tempted to leave it there, but I'm not quite that mean. okay, maybe I am, but I was doing laundry anyway. If I wasn't, I would have left it there and just turned the pillow over. Jim has a cold anyway now, so I'm sure the sheets will be washed again within a few days. Ugh. As long as I don't get it, I'll be fine. So my leg is asleep and it hurts to move it. I do hate laying in bed with my laptop sometimes. So my FIL just kicked the crap out of his youngest German Sheppard dog. I don't know what he did, but jeeze. No wonder I want out of this household. Like father like son. I love my FIL, but the way he treats his wife and dogs? Jesus. I really need to get Liz out of this household. If only I had the guts right now. And the resources. And I just heard the other dog squeal. God he's on a rampage tonight. .:.sigh.:. what did I do to deserve this shit? Good news is Liz's swingset might sell tomorrow. She grew out of the plastic Little Tykes one she got for her first birthday. Shame we're not getting the money for it. My MIL and FIL are requiring that the money goes to them because they paid for it. Um, yes. A gift to your granddaughter and you take the money back. That doesn't piss me off as much as the other item that's being sold with it. You know those green turtle sandboxes at walmart? Well JIM AND I paid for it last year when she got it. With OUR money, from OUR jobs. Do you think we're getting our money back when it sells? No. My IL's are refusing to let us have the money. That is so wrong on so many counts. Maybe I'll just take the cash tomorrow and put it in the bank when I go to work. They won't get a single cent of it. I'll just tell them the thing was stolen or something. I wouldn't care as much for the swingset, but dear god, at least give us OUR money back that we spent on OUR daughter for HER birthday. Fucking god, I hate this life I live. And Jim wonders why Im stressed all the time. Look around you asshole. I'm miserable in this life I call a marriage. There's nowhere to go but down in this partnership. He's never willing to work on it, so I'm about to give up. Screw it. Okay so the inlaw rant totally turned into me bashing my marriage, but maybe if he would get off his fucking ass and MOVE OUT like we were supposed to 2 YEARS AGO, we wouldn't be in this mess. But no, he's happy at his grocery store cafe job, where he'll only let me work nights in retail instead of letting me go to college to better myself. Where's the love in that. Nowhere, that's where. Argh. I'm going to end this before I end up crying over my keyboard. It'll be beautiful hellacious magic. |
| posted by Chrissy @ 8:49 PM |
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Wednesday, August 6, 2008 |
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| first night at Old Navy |
I had fun! Whoda thought that work would be fun.
I got myself a 20 minute nap and when my phone went off with my alarm at 5, I wanted to throw it against the wall. Surprisingly, I felt refreshed and ready! Course I had to go to Target before work to pick up a prescription, but I didn't go to Starbucks. Damn. I hit the drive thru at BK for my late lunch of a salad (grody, totally grody) and ate that before I went into work. I was in the mens department today, so it wasn't too bad. It's not as big as the women's section, thank god. I started in feature (the front of the store) and worked my way back. I was done within an hour. All I had to do was straighten and fold. That was the entire summary of my job for the night. I went back to the front and nothing was even out of place, so I just walked the store a bit. I am in love with the new line for women. Butterfly something.. but damn it's so vintage and classic and chic. I was proud of myself, the debit card stayed in my wallett in my locker the entire time until I left the store. I did find an outift I"m going to buy for myself though. It's a nice pair of gray lounge pants with wide legs and a tank top with red and white stripes. Looks nice, flirty, and comfy. I especially love that the tank has the henly style neckline, which is great for my lovely bossom. Not like anyone would notice anyway. .:.grumble.:. But yeah, I'm going to pick that up on Friday when I go back to work. I forgot to pick up my discount cards tonight, so I better remember to do it on Friday. I was out of there by 9 though, since everything was done already. It was a nice slow night. I'm sure Friday and Saturday will make me want to pull my hair out, especially if I"m in womens. Yikes.
I'm quite upset though, as the green shirt I picked out a few posts back is now unavailable in store and online. Boooooo. Now I have to find another nice shirt to go with that white skirt I have. I don't want to look prissy or uptight, but clean, cute and fun! Dangit.
My heart is breaking for one of my friends. She delievered her beautiful baby boy Ethan into the world last week. Little did we know, he was stillborn :-/ I can't even fathom how she feels. It's one of those smack in the face moments, for sure.
Anyway, just wanted to update about my first night back at work. FINALLY!!!!!! |
| posted by Chrissy @ 9:15 PM |
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| I can't take it. |
I never thought I'd say this, but I honestly hate my husband. The love just isn't there. I married too young, he's not right for me. At all..
So I wrote a blog on myspace that only a few users could see. Jim saw that I updated my profile so decided to see it. he tried to read the blog and of course, was denied access. he got mad at me, screaming at me that I was keeping stuff from him and calling me stupid and other names I dont' feel like repeating. All through dinner we fought over it, and everything came out- how much I hate him and how I wanted divorce papers for my birthday. I'm not taking that back either. I truly want divorce papers. I cannot stand waking up next to this man another day. He's cruel, he's mean, he's rude, and he's ignorant. He's so mean to me, always putting me down and not showing me an ounce of respect. He asks why I never tell him anything and I told him because he never listens. He always goes off saying how he has it worse, it's my fault, or something along those lines. I just cannot take it any more. I'm afraid to talk to him all the time because I always get yelled at. I'm done. I can't take it.
Not to mention the stress is really fucking with my body. I'm hungry bu I can't eat. I'm staying up too late (though it's not entirely MY FAULT!), my hair is falling out like crazy, and my period was late. Plus the pounds are slowly melting away, but I can deal with that. Ugh. |
| posted by Chrissy @ 6:26 PM |
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Friday, August 1, 2008 |
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| Meh |
So certain people were being complete assholes when they got home today. Not a hello or anything just "Did you find out when you work next week??" Umm no asshole, you won't let me go to Scranton to get my damn schedule so I have to rely on a friend to get it for me. I have the schedule now that I talked to my friend but Im' not telling him. It's not that good anyway :( Oh well, back to school starts soon. I'm on the sales floor and in the fitting room. Yuckkkk for fitting room, but I'll make do! Sales floor will be dangerous for me, as that's when I'll mess with the clothes and see everything. Yikes.
Plus he's so full of disrespect for his mother. What son tells his mother to leave him the 'fuck alone' and to get away? I really should have looked at how he treats his mom when we were dating, that says it all.
Plus I'm so sick of watching Nickelodeon. There's only so much Spongebob and Fairly Odd Parents I can take. I watch it all day for Liz, and at night for Jim. Ugh. So I just have my headphones in and my blackberry on mp3 player mode so I can rock out to some music.
Lizzy just woke up from a late evening nap. She better go to sleep tonight. Poor thing slept through dinner. Right now Jim's fixing her a bowl of cheerios since that's all she wants. Strange kid.
I so miss my dad. I can't wait, one more week and I can go see him!!! Finally. It's been over a year since I've been to my old house :( I guess that's what happens when you have a controlling husband.
To find that pic I was looking through Liz's 2nd birthday party pics. I love this pic of her. She looks so fresh and so cool. (As usual)
Plus there's something about her and cake. She only likes the icing, but I guess that's a kid thing. Give me the cake and you can keep the icing! In this pic she had already eaten her icing off her cake and she was eating her grandmother's icing while she wasn't looking. Now THAT'S a 2 year old for you. I can see how much she's changed facially already. Wow they grow too fast.
Did I ever mention that I think I'm a supurb child's room decorator? I can't WAIT to decorate her playroom- painting and picking out the decorations. I love to decorate. Maybe I should be an interior decorator!
This was Liz's 2nd birthday present from us. Well, the main one anyway. I spent the entire day 'de-babying' her room and turning it into a toddler room.
Above her bed. The letters have been there since she was born.
other wall of the bed
The bed and her favorite bedding... of course.
above the changing table that's now just a dresser
You can see her bunk beds here
Above the changing table/dresser
the door to her room...
So yes, my 2 year old has an infatuation with Dora. I guess she could love worse, right? Today she surprised me by lining up 3 of her bath toys in the bathroom and saying "Uno, dos, tres, quatro, cinco, seis!" I was floored. My 2 year old has better spanish speaking skills than my 21 and 3/4 year old self! lol
I guess I should end this post now. It's been nothing but mindless ramble as usual. Shows what kind of a life I have.
<3 |
| posted by Chrissy @ 4:39 PM |
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