• my dad is okay
• I have a bunch of wonderful friends
• dreams are starting to come true
• I have a healthy daughter who is more than I could ask for
• I'm healthy and alive
• I have a job that I love
• I have a great weekend planned for the end of this month
• I didn't get yelled at today

and I'm sure there's more.

I did have quite a chuckle with my daughter today. She was sniffling and trying to blow her nose. I caught her blowing her nose into Jim's pillow, coating it with boogies. Oh it was disgusting. I was so tempted to leave it there, but I'm not quite that mean. okay, maybe I am, but I was doing laundry anyway. If I wasn't, I would have left it there and just turned the pillow over. Jim has a cold anyway now, so I'm sure the sheets will be washed again within a few days. Ugh. As long as I don't get it, I'll be fine.

So my leg is asleep and it hurts to move it. I do hate laying in bed with my laptop sometimes. So my FIL just kicked the crap out of his youngest German Sheppard dog. I don't know what he did, but jeeze. No wonder I want out of this household. Like father like son. I love my FIL, but the way he treats his wife and dogs? Jesus. I really need to get Liz out of this household. If only I had the guts right now. And the resources.

And I just heard the other dog squeal. God he's on a rampage tonight. .:.sigh.:. what did I do to deserve this shit?

Good news is Liz's swingset might sell tomorrow. She grew out of the plastic Little Tykes one she got for her first birthday. Shame we're not getting the money for it. My MIL and FIL are requiring that the money goes to them because they paid for it. Um, yes. A gift to your granddaughter and you take the money back. That doesn't piss me off as much as the other item that's being sold with it. You know those green turtle sandboxes at walmart? Well JIM AND I paid for it last year when she got it. With OUR money, from OUR jobs. Do you think we're getting our money back when it sells? No. My IL's are refusing to let us have the money. That is so wrong on so many counts. Maybe I'll just take the cash tomorrow and put it in the bank when I go to work. They won't get a single cent of it. I'll just tell them the thing was stolen or something. I wouldn't care as much for the swingset, but dear god, at least give us OUR money back that we spent on OUR daughter for HER birthday. Fucking god, I hate this life I live.

And Jim wonders why Im stressed all the time. Look around you asshole. I'm miserable in this life I call a marriage. There's nowhere to go but down in this partnership. He's never willing to work on it, so I'm about to give up. Screw it.

Okay so the inlaw rant totally turned into me bashing my marriage, but maybe if he would get off his fucking ass and MOVE OUT like we were supposed to 2 YEARS AGO, we wouldn't be in this mess. But no, he's happy at his grocery store cafe job, where he'll only let me work nights in retail instead of letting me go to college to better myself. Where's the love in that. Nowhere, that's where.

Argh. I'm going to end this before I end up crying over my keyboard.

It'll be beautiful hellacious magic.